My clients are successful in most areas of their life. They have a good career, great friends,  a full and activelife. And yet their love life is the one area that does not match the rest. The part that leaves their friends and family and even themselves baffled. They act confidently, secure, and as their fun, authentic selves in every area of their life, but with romantic relationships, they struggle to show up in the same way.

They also tend to be growth-oriented. They do the work. They read the books, listen to the podcasts, go to therapy, practice mindfulness. Everything they can do to bridge this gap. But what I’ve found is that it doesn’t work for them to do the work alone for three reasons:

First, it’s usually the unconscious patterns and blindspots that are causing you to act in ways that aren’t serving you in your love life and attract what you don’t want (whether it be attachment styles, limiting beliefs, learned functioning and coping mechanisms from our childhood or past romantic relationships, and more). I help uncover all the different blocks that are getting in your way. Second, in order to create meaningful, long lasting change, you need to get to the “why”. I have a process to discover why you adopted these coping mechanisms, habits and behaviors, so that you can heal them from the root. 

And lastly, I use science-backed tools to not only transform these habits, inner wounds, or energy into a new pattern or energy, but do it in a way where it creates a new default. Because intellectually you can know to stop doing one thing and start doing another, but when the stakes are high and you really like (or love) the person, or you’re under stress and getting activated, you will just default back to your old patterns every time. (Those “Ugh, I did that thing again” moments that we are all guilty of). It’s stored in our body. So I use somatic bodywork in order to actually heal those old patterns and install new ones that better serve what you want to attract and experience in your love life.

I help my clients uncover whatever is blocking them from finding love or experiencing connection with a partner in a harmonious way, whether it be helping them create a secure attachment style, doing inner child work to heal triggers and activations, uncovering the energy they are broadcasting out into the world (which may be attracting what they don’t want or repelling what they do), or uncover any other conscious or unconscious patterns, cycles, or behaviors from childhood, past romantic relationships, or otherwise, that are still playing out in the their current romantic connections.

With attachment styles or unconscious patterns, I not only give people tools to be aware of their patterns and how to tackle them real-time, but we uncover what is triggering or activating them into their avoidant or anxious cycles (or unconscious behaviors), so we can heal it from the root. 

If for example, you’re in an anxious-avoidant cycle with your partner and you are both activated trying to communicate, it’s like ships passing in the night. You cannot connect effectively when coming from that activated place. And you know you’re in your insecure patterns because one second later you snap out of it and realize you did that thing you tend to do, or went to that place you tend to go, again. I give you the tools to come back online as your authentic, adult self, in those moments, in order to be able to connect and communicate effectively. And not only that, but we heal the underlying wound so that you actually get activated less and less frequently, and with less intensity over time, until healed.

Once we heal and shift any patterns that aren’t serving you, I will help you gain that clarity to navigate dating (or a relationship) confidently. You will learn how to choose potential partners using criteria shown to illicit compatibility for the long-haul, by determining your values, deal breakers and non-negotiables, versus solely relying on chemistry or attraction to drive your connection. 

You’ll get clear on guidelines for dating so you’re able to show up clear-headed, open, and authentic, in order to attract your authentic match. You’ll know when to give partners a second chance and when to cut your losses and not spend time on partners that are clearly showing you they’re not right for you. And you’ll define what you want, need, and what boundaries you want to exercise, so that you can honor yourself and your vision for what you want out of your ideal partnership. 

Lastly, you’ll learn tools to best connect and communicate with a partner in a way that it lands and promotes intimacy and connection (versus deteriorates it) so that you can build a solid foundation with your partner where you both feel seen, understood, loved and supported, and can thrive in and deepen your bond together.

And because how we do one thing is how we do everything, the work we do has a positive ripple effect in every area of your life, whether it be your career, friendships, relationship with family, and more.