According to Nash game theory (remember the movie A Beautiful Mind?) which significantly changed the way the world thought about negotiation tactics, we end up with a “worse off” deal if we only care about our interest alone.

On the other hand, when we also take into account our partner’s interest when strategizing our move, we end up with the best result. What is learned is that each partner’s strategy is optimal when considering the other player.

So what can be learned from this in our relationships?

Not surprisingly, the same is also true. When we are in conflict resolution, or trying to arrive at a compromise on how to decorate the apartment, whether to go to that party this weekend, or how to prioritize finances, when we attune to our partner (to their wishes, their feelings, their dreams, their needs, their experience of the situation) and empathize and hold space for them in the conversation, we tend to be able to get the best result for ourselves.

It may seem paradoxical, however, we’ve seen the power of empathy time and time again in relationships. It’s the age old, “If you want love, give love” analogy.

So even if it is for selfish purposes, putting your partner’s feelings and experience first, can not only let them feel seen, understood and prioritized, and strengthen your bond, but also help you come out on top.

If you want help navigating discussions, compromises or competing needs with your significant other, this is what I help my clients with.

I give them tools to connect and communicate with their partners in a way that it lands, and we strategize together to determine the best approach.

If you want a different result, you need a different strategy.

I’m here to give that to you.

Sign up for a complimentary consult to start coaching 1-on-1. I can’t wait to hear from you!