Is this person good for me? Should I keep seeing them? How do I know if they are a good match? I get these questions all the time…
And while I have a process for providing my clients with guidelines on what to look for, catered to their unique vision and needs, I also like to share this set of questions that can provide some light or clarity on whether a person is a good partner for us and whether they are aligned with what we want for a partnership.
This is a great list to run through whether you’ve gone on one date with them, or been together for a year:
- How do they make you feel when with them?
- How do they make you feel when you’re not with them?
- What side of you do they bring out?
- Do you like the version of you that shows up with them?
- Can you be your authentic, interesting, fun self?
- Can you relax or are you constantly on egg shells?
- Are you celebrated for all that you are? Or do you have to hide or dim any part of you?
- Do they lift you up and give you energy or do they drain you? Does their mood lift you up or bring you down? Does it feel expansive or depleting? If both, which happens more often than not, and is the draining of your energy sustainable or impacting other parts of your life?
- Do you have fun?
- Is it rooted in a healthy and secure love and curiosity, or is it fueled by intensity, chemistry, revving up, chaos, push-pull dynamics and a need for validation?
- Do they leave you confused or with clarity?
- Is there any part of you that is betraying yourself or playing small in being with them?
- Are you compromising your vision for what you told yourself you wanted in a partner for partnership?
- Would any part of you be ashamed of your family, friends or people that are important to you, to see you in this relationship?
- Do they meet your values and non-negotiables?
- Do you have any hesitations?
If you want help determining if someone is a good match for you, and you just just can’t seem to decide (or you think you know, but just can’t pull the trigger either way), I can help you!
Coaching together, I will help you get clear about what you want and whether this person meets that. We’ll figure out if they meet your values and non-negotiables, if you are settling by staying with them, or whether you’re being too picky and simply in fear of moving forward. Or, if it’s something else completely.
No matter the block, I will help provide you with clarity and shift you forward so that you can move past the struggle, and get closer to what you’re meant to experience in your love life.
Let’s set up a consult and start coaching 1-on-1 today!