Practice using these phrases with your insecurely attached partners to make them feel safe, understood and nourished in your relationship:

For your Dismissive Avoidant partner

  1. What you need is important to me
  2. I’d like to be able to support you in your needs
  3. It’s safe to be vulnerable and reach out
  4. You belong here
  5. I’m glad you exist
  6. I’m so glad you’re you
  7. You don’t have to do anything; I love you just for being you
  8. You’re enough
  9. It’s okay if you need some time to yourself
  10. Take your time, I’ll be here

For your Anxious partner

  1. I’m not going anywhere
  2. I will be here for you
  3. I respect your boundaries
  4. I’ll miss you
  5. I’ll be thinking of you
  6. I love you just the way you are
  7. You are so lovable
  8. You have a right to your own space and privacy
  9. I appreciate your need for consistency

For your Disorganized partner

  1. I’m sorry I scared you
  2. You can trust me to keep you safe from the world
  3. Let’s calm ourselves and talk about it together
  4. I am paying attention to you and what you need
  5. Let me give you clear directions
  6. I will protect you and stand up for you
  7. I will be your safe place
  8. I will repair with you when ruptures happen

It’s important to remember that attachment styles are fluid and you can work to build a secure attachment and relationship.

Further, becoming aware of your patterns and those of your partner can help you navigate differences with more ease and connection, and communicate with more grace.

If you want help in building a secure attachment, this is what I help my clients with.

I’ve experienced this transformation first hand, and seen the difference it makes on what and who I’ve attracted after doing this work. Now I’m paying it forward and helping my clients do the same.

If you are growth-oriented and want to learn more about yourself — your conscious and unconscious patterns — and how you can connect with a partner in a more aligned and harmonious way, sign up for a consult call and let’s start coaching today!