I get this question from my clients all the time.
My response back to them is usually… is this causal relationship taking away any energy from finding your match in any way?
For example, if spending time with them means you are not prioritizing meeting other people with that time, making connections on dating apps with that time, being out in the world to meet new people with that time (or it makes you avoid, delay or diminish any of these things), then yes, that means your energy is being tied up.
A lot of times we need to really feel our loneliness, or how bad we really want a partner, in order to be really committed to finding someone and finally do that thing we don’t want to do, in order to achieve it.
So if seeing that guy on the side is going to numb your feelings and get in the way of you making high-quality moves to get you on the app, or get you out there to meet new people, then I advise against it. It’s only delaying the time it takes to meet your person, and prolonging the suffering.
If you are prioritizing dating and meeting new people regardless, and also want to have this person in your life because they are a great friend, then feel free. But I would be curious if there is any energy in you whatsoever that may be wondering if something might eventually develop with this person. Even if it is only 5% of you… it is still tying your energy to this person and limiting you from being fully open to other potential matches. Energy is finite.
Additionally, when you are in 100% commitment to your vision, and say yes to all things and people that are in line with that vision, and no to all things and people who are not, the universe hears you loud and clear and responds in kind.
The more clear you are in your intentions, and in what you do and do not allow in your life, the more the universe can send you what it knows you want.
Sometimes saying no to the person you can never say no to, is exactly what lets that new person in your life finally show up.
If you want help in uncovering what’s getting in your way of attracting who and what you want in your love life, this is what I help my clients with.
If you’re finally willing to look inside yourself to see what might be blocking you, sign up for a consult call and let’s get started coaching one-on-one so you can find the person you know you truly deserve!