According to The Gottman Institute (supreme experts in what makes marriages work and keeps couples together), the following 9 traits are exhibited in the relationships that are dysfunctional and tend to not make it.

And to be clear, researcher John Gottman is touted as the guy who can predict divorces with a 94% accuracy rate!

  1. Lots more negative than positive interactions (happy couples have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative versus reportedly unhappy couples have a .8 ratio)
  2. Negative interactions show escalation
  3. Use of Gottman’s “The Four Horseman” in communication
  4. Emotional disengagement and withdrawal
  5. Failure of repair attempts
  6. Rejection of, or failure to, accept bids for connection
  7. Negative sentiment override (negative emotions for their partners override their positive ones for them, or the positive actions of their partners)
  8. Physiological arousal in negative interactions
  9. Failure of accepting influence (research finds this is typically found in masculine counterparts; women typically accept influence in both successful and unsuccessful relationships)

If any of these traits are exhibited in your relationship, this is the type of thing I help my clients with.

In my coaching, I offer my clients tools and ways to choose love over conflict, gridlock and separation.

I uncover what my client’s primary triggers and activations are regarding their partner so that we can heal those, resulting in them getting triggered less and less, and with less intensity. So that they can then approach their partners in a new light. And therefore receive a different response.

I help offer them more communication strategies and tools to choose from so that both partners can finally feel seen, heard, and understood.

And in this way my clients can spend more time creating loving moments in their relationship, rather than perpetuating the same cycles and disagreements that drive a wedge between them.

If you want to coach with me in order to connect and communicate with your partner in a more harmonious way, I would love to help you.

Let’s set up a complimentary consult and start coaching 1-on-1!