See below a list of top six principles to remember in order to communicate with your loved one in a way that lands and promotes connection:
- Make “I” statements. “I feel…”, “It seems to me that…” “I’m telling myself a story that…” “I need…”
- Share thoughts AND feelings. Use emotion words. (remember that “I feel that you…” is not a feeling!)
- Be specific, clear and give concrete examples (while talking about one issue at a time; no throwing everything into the kitchen sink unless you want a fool-proof way of not resolving your issue)
- Be aware of you nonverbal messages (80% of what you are communicating is nonverbal)
- Be empathetic and nonjudgmental. Acknowledge and validate their feelings given their experience (it doesn’t mean you have to agree or are admitting fault… just acknowledging how they might feel that way given their experience of the situation)
- Restate what you heard them say. Ask if you got it right
If you are growth-oriented and want to learn more about yourself — your conscious and unconscious patterns — and how you can connect and communicate with your loved one in a more aligned and harmonious way, I can help you.
In my coaching, I offer my clients tools and ways to choose love over conflict, gridlock and separation.
I uncover what my client’s primary triggers and activations are regarding their partner so that we can heal those, resulting in them getting triggered less and less, and with less intensity. So that they can then approach their partners in a new light. And therefore receive a different response.
I help offer them more communication strategies and tools to choose from so that both partners can finally feel seen, heard, and understood.
And in this way my clients can spend more time creating loving moments in their relationship, rather than perpetuating the same cycles and disagreements that drive a wedge between them.
If you want to coach with me in order to connect and communicate with your partner in a more loving way, I would love to help you.
Let’s set up a complimentary consult and start coaching 1-on1!